Monday, June 19, 2006

Give honest, sincere appreciation

1. There is only way to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it.
2. Any other way, either by threats, guns, whips or forceful intimidation, have sharply undesirable repercussions
3. The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want
4. Sigmund Freud said that everything you and I do springs from two motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great
5. John Dewey phrased it, “the desire to be important”
6. Lincoln once began a letter, “Everyone likes a compliment”
7. William James said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” The Craving is what he said.
8. The rare individual who honestly satisfies this heart hunger will hold people in the palm of his or her hand and “even the undertaker will be sorry when he dies.”
9. Prizes give people a feeling of importance
10. How you get your feeling of importance determines your character
11. George Washington wanted to be called “His Mightiness, the President of the United States”
12. Some people become invalids to win sympathy and attention
13. Some authorities declare that people may actually go insane in order to find, in the dreamland of insanity, the feeling of importance that has been denied them in the harsh world of reality
14. If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.
15. Charles Schwab was paid a salary of a million dollars a year in 1921 for this reason… “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,” said Schwab, “the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.”
16. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”
17. Once I did bad and that I heard ever / Twice I did good, but that I heard never.”
18. Schwab declared, “I have yet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism.”
19. “Here lies one who knew how to get around him men who were cleverer than himself...” Carnegie’s epitaph
20. Rockefeller would always find something to praise
21. That’s great!! We don’t always do as well as that upstairs.”
22. The number one reason for runaway wives was “Lack of Appreciation
23. “I can’t think of six things that I would like to change about you. I love you just the way you are.” The Red Rose Principle
24. The Plate of Hay
25. Broadway producer, knowing the value of appreciation and confidence, he made women feel beautiful by the sheer power of his gallantry and consideration.
26. People crave appreciation almost as much as they crave food
27. Alfred Lunt, one of the greatest actors of his time, said, “There is nothing I need so much as nourishment for my self-esteem.”
28. Kind words of appreciation would sing in a person’s memories for years like the music of the morning stars.
29. Nature compensates for disabilities – appreciate these differences
30. Flattery will do more harm than good.
31. The difference between flattery and appreciation is simple. One is sincere and the other is insincere. One comes from the heart and the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other is universally condemned.
32. Mexican General Alvaro Obregon wrote, “Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.”
33. I am talking about a new way of life.
34. King George V “Teach me neither to proffer nor receive cheap praise.”
35. Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself
36. “Use what language you will,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson, “ You can never say anything but what you are.”
37. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth.
38. One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation.
39. We should never forget that in our interpersonal relations all human beings hunger for appreciation.
40. Try Leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips.
41. Honest appreciation gets results where criticism and ridicule failed.
42. “I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore , that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
43. Every man I meet is superior to me in some way. In that, I learn from him.”
44. Try to figure out the other person’s good points.
45. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,”
46. People will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime- even repeat them years after you have forgotten them.

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